A Wonderful Surprise

I received a totally unexpected email the other day.  It was from a former student who has just received her DRIVER'S LICENSE!  She is doing very well and fondly thinks back to her memories from Montessori school.  She recalls her "favorite teacher" and the sense of community she enjoyed in the Montessori environment.  This compliment could easily go to my head and boost my ego.  However, many people do not realize it's not the Montessori teacher or the materials that are the children's "favorite", deep down it's actually the philosophy.  Children who attend Montessori schools for 3+ years truly take away from the experience more than just a solid, well-rounded education.  Their core personality is formed and they leave the school caring, active leaders of the community.

Reflect on your "favorite" childhood teacher.  Did the teacher instill a sense of independence and community in the classroom?  Did you feel a sense of ownership over the classroom?  Maybe it was really just his/her philosophy of teaching that you preferred. 

...Or maybe she just let you erase the chalkboard from time to time. lol.

Great Montessori Poem

Here's a fantastic poem that's circulating the Montessori blog world.  It summarizes a child's feelings when a parent focuses solely on worksheets coming home instead of the hands-on activities that took place during the day. 

Today I did my math and science.
I toasted bread, halved and quartered, counted, measured, and used my eyes, ears and hands.
I added and subtracted on the way.
I used magnets, blocks and memory tray.
I learned about a rainbow and how to weigh.

So please don't say -
"ANYTHING IN YOUR BAG TODAY?"

You see, I'm sharing as I play, to learn to listen and speak clearly when I talk
to wait my turn and when inside to walk.
To put my words into a phrase, to find my name and write it down.
To do it with a smile and not to frown, to put my pasting brush away.

So please don't say -
"ANYTHING IN YOUR BAG TODAY?"

I learned about a snail and a worm.
Remembered how to take my turn.
Helped a friend when he was stuck.
Learned that water runs off a duck.
Looked at words from left to right.
Agreed to differ, not to fight.

So please don't say -
"DID YOU ONLY PLAY TODAY?"

Yes, I played the whole day through.
I played to learn the things I do,
I speak a problem, find a clue and work out for myself just what to do.
My teachers set the scene, and stay near-by to help me when I really try.
They are there to pose the problems, and to help me think.
I hope they will keep me floating and never let me sink. All of this is in my head and not in my bag.

It makes me sad to hear you say -
"HAVEN'T YOU DONE ANYTHING TODAY?"

When you attended your meeting today and do your work I will remember not to say to you -
"WHAT DID YOU DO?"


- author unknown

The Cost of Competition

I realize there's nothing more American than "healthy" competition.  However, as a teacher of young children, I personally attest to the negative impact competition has on self-esteem, relationship-building, and overall emotional readiness in preschoolers.  Please take a few minutes to read this fantastic article about competition and young children.  It's a very quick read:  The Cost of Competition.


 I do realize, though, that many of my Montessori children will be moving on to more traditional programs next year.  In order to prepare them for the onslaught of competition in public school, I gradually introduce mildly competitive games into the classroom the last week of school.  It was as if we had a different group of kids today.  For the most part, all kind words and patient behavior went out the window.  I had to literally sit the children down and give them a lesson on how to win and how to lose a game.  I strictly enforced a handshake and the words "Good Game" at the end of each round.  Children involved in sports were already used to this routine, so they picked it right up.  However, they were also the children touting "I'm winning" or "I have more than you" constantly throughout the games.  A few children were obviously uncomfortable with the entire concept and chose to steer clear.
 
In order to prepare the children for the concept of winning/losing, I bring out the "Orchard" game.  The children absolutely ADORE this game and it actually improves cooperatve teamwork, while introducing competition.  The goal of the game is to collect all of the fruit from the Orchard before the Raven eats it.  I highly recommend this game for family fun nights at home:  The Orchard Game.

Competition is not something typically found in Montessori classrooms due to the increase in stress levels, however, competition is also part of our American society.  If introduced properly, competition can be healthy.  But for those of us with children under age 8, let's just stick to enjoying the pleasure of the game.

Feeling Angry

We've been talking about feelings this week and today we focused on the feeling of "anger". The children typically have a lot to say on this subject, so I planned for a long circle time. I'm glad I planned ahead- I heard story after story of children feeling angry at times and not knowing what to do with their anger.
I read the book Feeling Angry and we discussed several aspects of the book. First of all, it's important to stress to children that anger is O.K. The hard part is what we can do with this energy called anger. It's not healthy to bottle the anger up inside our bodies, and it's not healthy to physically put our anger on other people.
Before reading the book, here were some answers to the question, "What do you do with your anger?":

• "slam doors"
• "hit my sister"
• "cry to mommy"
• "stomp my foot"
• "push my friend"

After the book, here were some answers to the question, "What could we do with our anger instead?":

• "count to ten"
• "breathe deeply"
• "go outside for a walk"
• "squeeze playdough"
• "hit my pillow or my bed"
• "talk to the person that made me angry"

Immediately following our discussion, I asked the children to close their eyes. I told them to pretend they were very angry and then imagine what anger looks like. They opened their eyes and were given the opportunity to draw "anger". Some children drew angry faces, others drew large, violent-looking explosions. Today almost felt like a children's therapy session, but it was a healthy discussion and could very easily be reinforced at home.

Attitudes on School

I was in our vet's office yesterday, overhearing the techs' conversation. The woman described a conversation she had in the car with her pre-teen daughter.

Vet Tech: "I've got bad news for you. School starts again in two weeks."
Daughter: "Are you kidding me?! Thanks a lot for ruining my day!" (Now crying)
Vet Tech: "Sorry to wreck your day, but I figured you needed to know."
Daughter: "Thanks a lot, mom." (With obvious sarcasm)

The woman then laughed about it, thinking it was so funny that her daughter was crying about going back to school. Doesn't that raise a red flag for her? This woman started off the conversation with her daughter on a negative note. How could she have gone about this "forewarning" in a more positive way? Maybe the conversation could have gone like this:

Vet Tech: "Are you enjoying your summer?"
Daughter: "Yes, I've been having fun going to the pool every day."
Vet Tech: "Well, in a couple of weeks you'll be able to see all of your school friends again!"
Daughter: "You mean school's starting soon?"
Vet Tech: "Yes, and you're also signed up for dance class...two great things happening at once!"
Daughter: "Great! I wonder who will be in my homeroom this year?"

If the mother's attitude had a more positive twist, the daughter's entire view of school could have changed. If she was more positive and her daughter was still visibly upset, maybe the mom needs to discuss this further to find out what's really wrong, or look into alternative schools for her child. Your child's attitude about school is oftentimes a mirror of the people around her. We can't control what other people or the media say about school, but at least we can control the views we reflect onto our children.

Labyrinths in School

Montessori teachers incorporate labyrinths into the curriculum for many reasons. Children can walk the labyrinth to calm themselves down, to resolve conflicts, or even to grieve the loss of a pet or loved one. Adults who walk a labyrinth say it is possible to lose the sense of space and time and be fully present in the moment. Ancient labyrinths have been found dating back to 18,000 BC in Egypt, Peru, India, Scandinavia and the British Isles.

I incorporate this philosophy into the classroom by using this hand held Cretan labyrinth from Montessori Services. I've recommended this activity to parents to put in a quiet part of the house. When the child starts acting up or needs some redirection, some quiet time with the labyrinth usually does the trick.

Many of you know that I'm looking to expand the school within the next couple of years. Wouldn't this outdoor labyrinth be an amazing addition to the new environment? I envision a small stool for children to take their shoes off and maybe a brush to wipe their feet after they've completed the walk. I love the child in the back raking the sand, almost like a Japanese Rock Garden. This teacher did a fantastic job creating this work of art herself with found materials.

You can incorporate a labyrinth into your home environment by using rocks as shown above, or with chalk in a driveway. Making labyrinths in the snow is fun or try it at night with candles!

Praise Junkies

I've got to admit, this is one of my biggest pet peeves and I see and hear it everywhere. Excessive praise. It's in every park, grocery store and mall around this country. I'm sure it happens all over the globe, but supposedly the old US of A tops the cake with this behavior. You've heard it before..."Great work, Billy! You're really swinging high now! Good job pumping your legs! You're the best swinger in the entire world!!!!" And on and on it goes.

Anyone who knows me, knows that this irritates me to no end and because of it, I probably do not praise my children ENOUGH! Why doesn't parenting come with a handbook? This book by Chick Moorman is probably the closest you'll find to a parenting handbook. I've read it several times and I try to use my "parent talk" to the best of my ability each day. Some days are better than others.

Amazingly, Dr. Deak---author of Girls will be Girls---mentions this little pet peeve of mine in her book, stating:

The point is that if every little behavior or action of a child
is praised or reinforced, it not only loses its impact, but it gradually leads a
child to believe that anything she does is great or that everything she does is
equally good, from scribbling on a piece of paper to writing War and
Peace... Excessive praise can lead to the development of:

• A very selfish child who wants reinforcement from everyone for
  everything
• A very needy child who can't function well without constant
  adult feedback
• A very complacent child because everything is responded to in
  the same way
• A very angry child because she/he will inevitably interact with
  people who are not effusive about her/his every behavior or will set the bar
  higher for obtaining praise
• A very confused child because her/his outside world is not the
  same as her/his home world
• A very lazy child because the littlest effort is
  rewarded

How does this relate to Montessori, you ask? In the classroom, Montessori teachers use something called objective praise. We know that reinforcement and praise are very important tools to help shape behavior with better side effects than punishment. However, we do not want to get sucked into the abyss of meaningless praise that creates children who I like to call "praise junkies". Every few minutes I hear "Look at me! See what I'm doing! Look, I pushed in my chair! See!! See!?!?!" I call them "praise junkies" because they quite literally need their contant fix of praise in order to feel self-worth. Objective praise is reinforcing a child using obvious statements of fact. "Billy, I see you used a lot of red in your picture." For a child who has trouble focusing..."Sally, you spent a half an hour working on those Metal Insets." Using objective praise is like an art form, but trust me...it takes time to master. When in doubt, give a genuine smile.

So next time you go to the park, try not to bite your tongue off when you here the mommy next to you screaming praises at her child for playing in the sandbox or for sitting on a bench!

Girls will be Girls

I typically spend a lot of my free time reading, usually about Montessori or other related education books. However, I've started reading this book, Girls will be Girls: Raising Confident and Courageous Daughters by JoAnn Deak. It's fascinating. She explains the distinct difference in the core neurological system between males and females, and relates that information to the way we should teach our boys and girls for optimal brain growth and retention. It's amazing how "typically", girls will venture toward the language area and boys will find interest in building and constructing. Deak states,

"For optimal lifelong neurological balancing and growth, girls generally need to spend a lot of time in the block corner and boys need to spend a lot of time in the writing/drawing corner. Provided in an enjoyable way, these early against-the-grain gender experiences help create a well-balanced brain that is better equipped to handle the range of tasks and challenges the brain will have to contend with all through life."

As a teacher and parent, I do notice the majority of girls showing a great deal of interest in the Language area. The author does mention that approximately 20% of girls' brains have male-differentiated predispositions. Simply put, 20% of girls will prefer blocks to drawing. "Follow the child" is the cornerstone of Montessori education. I just wonder if we need to focus more on what the child does not choose in order to give each child's brain an equal opportunity for later success in life. Once this blog starts getting some followers, I'd love to hear your experiences with gender-related neurological predispositions in the classroom or at home.